Focusing on the positive

is not something I do naturally. Often, trying to 'see things realistically' causes me to be negative, to say the least. These are some of the final days that my dad has, and I have been with him everyday since Saturday. Although this is perhaps one of the most difficult times of my life, I am trying to consciously focus on positives so as not to go...well...insane. As I did about a year ago, here is a list of things that bring happiness:

• Remembering Mom's last birthday- I went shopping for my dad to buy her the best presents money could buy, and it was probably one of the best birthdays to date. She got a bag, new knives, perfume, new earrings, and best of all, Dad was still able to sit up and laugh and talk. Alyssa made a cake that was shaped like a hummingbird and it was amazing. Just thinking about that day makes me smile.
  
• My fuzzy, red blanket from Costco. That thing can put me to sleep like nothing else.
• Pedicures- I've started forcing myself to get them on a regular basis because that is at least 45 minutes of time where I can zone out and think about nothing. My current toenail color is blue. Yes, blue.
  
• Driving my car- that German has some umph and every now and then it's nice to take a drive.
  
• Scented candles after a long day- there's nothing quite like sitting in the light of a candle that smells like chocolate coconut.
• Tall shoes. The novelty still hasn't worn off as I bought a new pair several weeks ago.

• Jay, of course.

• Netflix instant documentaries- I have become addicted and have nearly watched all of them.
• The people I work with. They're still wonderful.

• A little tan dog that never barks and is always a Good Girl.
• Country music- no better reminder of my dad's better days than that.

I was once told that people will always surprise you. Some of the people who you expect will always be there will often let you down, and a lot of the ones you forgot were there will be there when you need someone most. It's amazing how true that statement is. For those who are no longer in my life, I have learned from those relationships and moved on. For those who are here that I did not expect, thank you. I can't wait to experience life with you.