Current mood:
thankful Dear Nice Guys,
I want to tell you how much I appreciate you. I am sorry that women in our society don't value you more than they do. A lot of women say "I hate men", "all men are jerks", and "why aren't there any nice guys out there?". I'm sure that annoys you just as much as it annoys me. Well, I'm here to set the record straight. There ARE nice guys out there. In fact, there are more nice guys than there are jerks. So why is it that so many women get tangled up in a relationship with a jerk?
First, STANDARDS. Lots of my female friends have the most backwards standards when it comes to finding a guy suitable for them to date. Despite what these women say, they don't REALLY want a nice guy. If they did, they wouldn't fall for the old "you're the most beautiful woman in this bar" line. If they did, they wouldn't judge you first based on your looks. If they really wanted a nice guy, they wouldn't settle for the Scottsdale asshole. What they really want, but are embarrassed to admit, is a shallow, materialistic shell of a 'relationship'. Which leads to the second reason why women allow themselves to date jerks.
MATERIALISM. That one still amazes me. Any dumbass can put on an expensive shirt and drive a nice car. In fact, those traits alone should make women wary to date those types of men to begin with. As most of you know (since I'm writing to you nice guys), if you have money you typically don't parade it around to attract women. In fact, quite the opposite it true. Many of you nice guys hide the fact that you have money. Why? Because you want to avoid women getting to know you for that purpose alone. And heaven forbid you actually have a personality that extends beyond your bank account. The guy who flashes what he's got isn't looking for anything real. If anything, he just wants arm candy and someone to go home with for a night. That segues right into reason #3 women find themselves stuck with jerks, looks. But before I go into that, I want to talk about the double standard that women have with that category. A woman will throw the 'looks' rule right out the window if the dude can make up for it by the amount of money he has. Bad move ladies, bad move. These ladies are already crippled by their lack of self-esteem, so then they find themselves attracted to men who are also emotionally crippled because they find their self worth in a pair of jeans and nice car? It's sad really.
LOOKS. This is probably the most obvious reason why women are always finding that "men suck". Instead of women getting to know a man first, she scans the area and tries to find the most physically attactive man in the bar. That's usually a combination of physical looks and what he wears. Now, you nice guys aren't always the sculpted Abercrombie-esque type of man that women are looking for. But, correct me if I'm wrong, the reason why you're not is because looks are not that important to you. Granted you all are usually good looking men, but most of you don't spend three hours in the gym. You nice guys understand that looks are fleeting and no matter how hard you work out in your twenties, when you turn seventy you're going to be a flabby lump of flesh like everyone else. I want to pose a question to the women reading this. Why would a beautiful hunk of a Greek God man still be single at age 27? If he's so incredible INSIDE and out, wouldn't someone have snatched him up immediately? Might it be that there's something about him that even his looks couldn't cover up? Perhaps the reason why he spends so much time on his physical appearance isn't because he wants to 'be healthy'. Perhaps it's because he, too, is crippled by low self-esteem and so he compensates not having any personality, any ambition, or any redeeming value by having washboard abs and perfect skin. I'm not saying a guy can't be both gorgeous AND internally facsiniating, I just think you need to look at the internal first. And, I bring this up not to single anyone out, but because I've had this happen on three separate occasions with three separate single ladies. I say "hey, there's this guy I want you to meet", and if not the immediate response after I say that, at least the second question my female friend asks is "what does he look like?". Not, "does he have a good sense of humor?" not, "can he support himself?" not, "is he nice?". In my opinion, all of those things matter way more that whether he's blonde or brunette. But society tells women to go for the guy who looks like Brad Pitt and earns like Bill Gates. Isn't there more to a relationship than that?
Going back to you, nice guys. I have had some of the most intellectually stimulating conversations with you. Not only about current events, but life, philosophy, the meaning of words, friendship...everything. You are some of the deepest people I know. For me personally, I have to be with someone who can match my intelligence. I don't care how 'gorgeous' you are, if you can't keep up with my rants about China's microeconomic development I'm just not interested. And 90% of the nice guys in my life can.
Second, you nice guys treat women like queens. Not only can you carry on an intelligent conversation, you can hold the door open for me while doing it. You respect women and value them not because they look good in a mini skirt, but because you truly care about them as people. You put their needs first. You make sure your lady is comofortable and taken care of. You make sure your lady knows she's your whole world. And if she gains ten pounds or loses ten pounds, you could care less. Because you know that eventually, we'll all look like wrinkley prunes. But inwardly, who they are will never change.
Third, all of you nice guys in my life can take care of yourselves. No, you may not earn CEO salaries, but you work hard and provide the best you can. And those of you who do make better than average money, most people would never know it. And I love that about you. I love how most of you are nerds, big nerds. And you're not too cool to admit it. I can talk finance and mathematics and grammar with you. Or I can talk about Count Chocula cereal and how it differs from it's competitors Boo Berry and Frankenberry.
So to all the rest of you nice guys out there, you definitely don't always finish last. In fact, you will find that when you do meet Ms. Right, your life couldn't be more perfect. You are a rare commodity out there, and just because society doesn't recognize you for the amazing people that you are doesn't change anything. There is nothing sexier, more romantic, more emotionally and intellectually stimulating than knowing that if I got in a horrible car accident where most of my face burned away and lost my high salary job, I would still be the most beautiful being in my nice guy's life. Ladies, we owe it to these men to feel the same. Try to get past the stereotype, Hollywood style relationship and challenge yourselves to look for more. For all you single ladies, I know plenty of fabulous catches, but I just don't think that you're quite worthy of them just yet. I've put them in a special "reserved" section until someone who truly appreciates them for who they are comes along...
No comments:
Post a Comment